My Story

For over a year I have been actively seeking the Lord’s direction regarding the next phase of my life’s journey.  It has been impressed on me by the Holy Spirit for this last year that it is time to move away from my current position, at the organization I have worked for the last twenty three and a half years.  I have also been certain that I am not to “retire,” but to have a commitment to something new.  The timing of these moves and the exact next steps have been less clear.  It seems I am being drawn to give myself more to my church in some capacity and will pursue where I should connect as my time becomes more available.  I have been longing for less constricting time commitments including frequent 7am meetings, and being locked into a schedule that does not give the flexibility to nurture relationships.  I want to make more time to press into God’s word and a fuller relationship with Jesus.

In the spring of 2010 I began to unwind my work  responsibilities and redirect my work to be more project focused.  I was pursuing a plan for a departure from my job no later than the end of December 2010.  So with that in mind I had been more actively imagining the next steps.

One Sunday after church service we saw a friend who asked Larry would he and I like to join a group planning to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania Africa in January 2011?  The group’s goal was to raise money and awareness to drill water wells for villages in that country.  I was not really in on the conversation he was having so when we got to the car I asked Larry what the conversation was all about, and when he told me I said:

“Are you thinking I would go too?”

He replied “Sure.”

“Oh?!”

After the surprise wore off I decided to start educating myself on what this climb would be like, and try to see if it was something I could even begin to consider.  I am not athletic, though I do work out.  But I have never “trained” for any thing physical….let me repeat Never.  I have a bum knee from a snow skiing injury a number of years ago and it has kept me from doing anything extremely strenuous over the years.  The knee problem has turned into arthritis and just climbing a flight of stairs always has aggravated it.  I checked out the terrain of the climb and thought my knee might be a limiting factor, but still decided to stay open to the possibility.

A couple weeks after this opportunity arose, my sister contacted me and ask if I wanted to do the Susan Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day walk for the cure with her in Dallas.  Sixty miles in 3-days….. I have always wanted to do one of these walks as I have had a number of connections to the breast cancer cause and the Komen organization.  My thinking was that this would be the test to see if I could even realistically consider climbing Kili.  If the training for the walk went well I could then move into the climb training.  But sixty miles is no small feet but hiking up a mountain in 6 days would be like an epic journey.  I was going to need a lot more than resolve to see it through.

The 3-Day gives you a sixteen week virtual training coach, with a weekly work out schedule.  Lots of miles each week, which translates into lots of hours each week — moving.

For the last few years I have used my workout time to spend time with Jesus. Sitting on a stationary bike going nowhere has given me lots of time to pray, listen to music, worship, cry out, lift my hands to heaven, and catch up on sermons I might have missed via podcast.  I can close my eyes, or even have the lights off and be alone with God.  With this being time I am very familiar as my quiet time I realized that the time I would spend training could become an expanded version and could become the time I used to go to new spiritual depths and heights.  The possibility and the opportunity to invest that time in personal growth was exciting.  I have not taken that kind of time for a long time — or maybe ever to spend significant time in spiritual connection.  WOW what was the possibility?

My daughter had given me a really unique plaque for my birthday in July which said, “Leap Fearlessly”…..I found so much meaning to that simple line.  It reminded me every time I saw it of Steven Curtis Chapman’s song Dive which says, “I’ll take the leap of faith.  I am diving in, I’m going deep, In o’er my head I want to be,…. I want to be caught in the flood……..come on let’s go!”

So I began the training and walking many miles out side, and oh  — it was very hot in July.  I had to get new tennis shoes.  Of course, I knew my feet and knees would be my most potential trouble.  I think the first walk I did was 3 miles, not really that far, but enough to get started and see what might be possible.  I made it with no real effort…….

The first few walks were spent listening to music and seeing how I was going to do from the standpoint of my knee pain.  There was some discomfort here and there in my body.  I did start each walk with a prayer to be pain free.  Within a few minutes of praying during each walk the pain would lift…..Wow!  And the previous pain I had when climbing stairs was also gone! ok …..new prayer.  So Lord, if this is within your will for me to make this climb then show me how I am to do this and why I should do this.  Clarity came as I listened to Antioch Community Church – World Mandate 2010 cd  — We Will Follow You. Not really a song but a reading describing saints who have been martyred for the gospel starting with Jesus, Stephen, to modern day Jim Elliot.  The words were so powerful to me — asking the question the reading says, what is the goal of your life?…….

“to Die for the gospel, No to Live for the gospel; to breathe the breath of God so deep that the trifles of this life are meaningless.  We will not languish behind the prison of the picket fence or wallow in the dead end of the cul-de-sac we will follow you God.”

Oh those words were so BIG and made me think, how do I live for the gospel or how do I want to live for the gospel?  I took a lot of time to ponder this……

For me to consider walking sixty miles in 3 days or climbing a mountain is totally out of reach under my own power, influence, or hard work.  But could this be just what I needed to move out of my comfort zone to a place that I must completely depend on God’s strength, mercy, and power to see me through?  Could this training become a time of leaping fearlessly into a deeper relationship with my savior as I walk miles and miles pressing into Him as the source of my energy, the wind beneath my wings, the focus of my thoughts, and the motivation for getting out of bed or walking home from work?

It was so clear that God does not need me to do this for Him.  I can not do anything for Him, Jesus did it all for me on the cross.  But I want to do this for me to be totally dependent on Him to be filled with the Holy Spirit in a way that has been unmatched in my life till now.  Diving into teachings, diving into worship, diving into conversations, finding that He is the balm to sooth my soul and my soles.  Jehovah Jireh, my provider.

There was still some level of apprehension whether I could or should really commit to the climb.  The walk I had already said yes to and paid my money.  I am a very calculated person on some levels.  I only bet when I know I will win.  I don’t take many risks that I have not thoroughly thought through the options and potential consequences.  This one, the climb, still had some unknowns I could not completely reconcile.  Then I went to my daughter’s church one Sunday in late July and the speaker that day was one of the lay persons in the congregation.  His sermon was about being an older person in the church and the role you should play to contribute to it.  The bottom line of his message was that there is no place for sitting on your laurels saying you have done  your part — it is never to late to try something  new and to go way out on a limb to inspire someone, mentor, or stretch to a new place that brings new vision.

He ended his sermon by showing the video of Dick & Rick Hoyt http://www.teamhoyt.com/index.html the father and son who do triathlons together with Dick carrying, pulling, or pushing his son with cerebral palsy across the finish line.  I love this story, I had heard it before and was reminded how, even at an advanced age, Dick started training to be able to do something special for his son and to inspire others.  The video ended with a scripture across the screen…..

“I can do  all things through Christ who strengths me!” Philippians 4:13

That was the final word that made me know I was definitely going to pursue this goal; leaping fearlessly, going deep, not knowing what all was to come of the experience.  Maybe it is just to spend time with Jesus in a way I have not done for years.  Maybe it is to inspire others that retirement is not a time for checking out or becoming totally self absorbed.  Maybe it is the daily lessons I am learning through the training, as I pursue more of God the enemy attacks with distractions, turmoil, and conflicts.

Why walk or climb? Distance walking and mountain climbing are the current physical destinations I am focused on but it is very obvious that it is the journey that really matters.  Checkout My Training I share some of the thoughts and insights I am having.

It is true “the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step….”